The person I am . . .

I think that giving up alcohol has let the person I am really come out.  I am not an angry, quick to snap beast.  I am a loving person, capable of great patience ( I thought I had none).  I am a great mother and wife (my hubby would snort to that last part),at least I’m on my way anyhow.  I am angry, however, at how much time I wasted drinking and being hungover.  I’m mad that all the things I wanted to do in my head, I could never accomplish because I was feeling so shitty.  I have accepted total responsibility for my actions, and before I would have never done that.  I would have blamed everything under the sun but good ole me.

I love waking up each morning not feeling like crap. I love my positive attitude. I love looking forward to things. I love planning stuff for my days off and knowing I am going to do them. I love the fact most of all, that I finally choose to cut the ties to the thing that was causing most of all the problems in my life. I know that not every moment of life will be filled with glitter and dazzling rainbows, but I know I can handle it without booze. It is not my friend. It has never made me say oh I’m so proud I drank last night, I acted like such a lady. I have accepted that alcohol completely changes me, even when I’m not drinking. I feel free. I feel hope that things will get better and stay better. I feel that God is proud of me finally, and not just shaking his head in sadness. I feel I have opened up avenues for blessings in my life that were otherwise road blocked.

This is my life, this is my happiness, this is my future. I make or break it!


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